In the documentary I Am Not Your Guru on Tony Robbin's coaching seminar, he said something along the lines of:

For a long time, especially as a teenager and early adults, I had resentment against my parents: I didn't feel understood, loved, or deeply cared about. I disliked the way we talked, communicated and interacted.

And yet, with time, I came to realize that all these "bad" experiences ultimately made me a better human being: they taught me a version of myself that I don't want to be; they gave me a better idea of how I could be a better father; they allow me to understand how differently I would raise a child.

A few years back, in 2016, I spent my winter time in Bali and couldn't make it for Christmas. I therefore decided to write my parents a thank-you-letter: thanking them for all the good they did to me, as well as for all the challenges that I had to face. I opened the latter part with this sentence:

I know my parents are amazing human being that did to their best of their abilities, such as all of us do. We are just products of our environments and hence can't blame someone for not knowing better.

I hope this letter inspires you to see the challenging side of relationships as a bright side, too. And to remember that we all try to act out of love, but often don't know how to act better and just replicate patterns that were taught to us.

The letter starts with gratefulness for all the positive, and then for all the challenging moments. Note: it was translated from French to English. If one sentence feels off, then you know why.

A Letter To My Parents

My dear parents,

Almost twenty-five years ago, you decided to create, for the first time in your life, the possibility for someone to exist, and therefore gave birth to the person who is transformed. in who I am today.

Growing up and learning to exist, you have been the people who have influenced me the most, have been the most demanding of me and who have also shown me the most love and devotion over the years.

I can only recognize that the majority of who I am today exists because of you, and this realization evokes pure gratitude, which I want to express to you in this letter.

Grateful because you have been my mentors, my guides, my influencers who have pushed me to act and think since the beginning of my existence.

Grateful for the unmodifiable place you have in my life because of the unconditional love you share with us, you for choosing to bring me into the world, and me because you gave me life.

Grateful for the uniqueness on which our relationship is built, namely that each desire towards the other comes from a desire to create more happiness, which turns into ever-present help and care.

Grateful despite what we may sometimes think of each other, wrongly, because even if our intentions are benevolent, we are only human and do not always manage to make the best decisions to implement our will.

Grateful that you never let go, in my ups and downs, and continued to want to be my support, no matter if I wanted to accept it or refuse it.

Grateful even if we may be in dissonance, in criticism, in estrangement or in lack of support, as conflict and imperfection are part of a larger process of personal growth and inter-relational development.

Grateful for you both, but also for you individually, because you have had different roles and influences in my life:

Grateful for you, Dad, who was the person who took me to the pool on Sunday, who took me let dream by making you sink, because really, you had every chance to win.

Grateful for you, Mom, who has been the person who has been there to educate and grow me since I remembered my childhood.

For you, Dad, who cut out all the newspaper articles and stuck it on your office door, in the pride of your children, whom you accompanied from start to finish.

For you, Mom, who taught me to read before everyone else, because you wanted to transmit the language that was most important to you.

For you, Dad, who followed me to the Abimove with your bike, being the only father so crazy and proud of his son that even the DJ gave you a hello.

For you, Mom, who has always led me to the Franco-German nursery school, to karate, to harp, then to physiotherapy, to horse riding, and to a thousand other places that have allowed me to deepen my knowledge. experiences and passions in life.

For you, Dad, who has always put the happiness of your children above yours, and more deeply, who has found its reason for being in our souls.

For you, Mom, who assured that I played the harp well every day, even if I got angry with you, because thanks to the persistence, I was able to acquire a unique talent and a way of expressing myself that , even having ups and downs, never gonna let go.

For you, Dad, who spent hours in front of the computer creating the most beautiful collection of memories possible for my 18th birthday, turning the past memory into the present moment.

For you, Mom, who gets lost in hysterical laughter, because you know that letting go while admitting your vulnerability can mean more than holding back.

For you, Dad, who sometimes couldn't sleep when you thought I wasn't safe, showing that my well-being is way above yours.

For you, Mom, who has always questioned me, because by doubting me, you were able to confront me with my errors and deficits.

For you, Dad, who likes to take life secondarily, because it's way too complex to be taken too seriously.

For you, Mom, who made me realize one morning in a cafe in Darmstadt, after leaving you a letter based on my own misunderstanding of the situation, that your ultimate goal in your life is the happiness of your children, for which you have always invested in.

For you, Dad, who was there when our mentalities weren't closest, because you always approached me with the benefit of the doubt, and the peace before the doubt itself.

For you, Mom, who write to me when you lose sight of the direction I have taken in my life, and who share her feelings in all honesty, because you want to confront me to bring out the best in me.

For you, Dad, who rejoices when I call you at the office and we talk for half an hour about life, remaining open to what I say, and putting understanding above judgment.

For you, Mom, who always wants perfection at every opportunity, because it is your way of investing your energy to allow us to live in a world without apparent flaws.

Grateful for you, Dad, who taught me to appreciate calm, serenity and simplicity in life.

Grateful for you, Mom, who showed me that taking action in life is worth more than just thinking.

For you, Dad, for showing me that the simplest, purest goals can be the most satisfying.

For you, Mom, who taught me perfection in work and in daily tasks.

For you, Dad, who reminds me that intuition gives way to the most natural actions.

For you, Mom, who reminds me that taking care of the goods around us and living in a controlled space is a sign of self-respect.

For you, Dad, who taught me to find methodologies behind every process, from how to solve math problems to knowing how to read contracts.

For you, Mom, for showing me not to look back, but to look forward, because the future is the only modifiable time.

For both of you, therefore, for having educated, transformed, influenced, and made me grow, each in their own way, sometimes under two poles which in the end formed an entity.

Grateful also for the experiences I may have had, good and bad, because both educated me in their ways, with results that are reflected today in my character:

Grateful to have always invested in my education, May it be having dedicated your personal time to homework, for sending me to Regina, for having me choose Spanish as my first language, and for supporting me to go to Sciences Po, because it gave me the best ways to better understand the world I live in.

Grateful for having forbidden me to go out at night, having forced me to escape without warning you so as not to shock you, because it has developed a confidence in myself and a desire to live my life while respecting that of the other.

Grateful for allowing me to go to Peru, being the most transformative trip of my youth, because it made me realize that the world is far too big not to be discovered.

Grateful for not wanting to support me in my risky decisions, because it allowed me to find better ways to communicate with you, and because it taught me that the only way to prove that I am right to believe in myself is to demonstrate it.

Grateful to have supported me and pushed me in all my extracurricular activities, whether its harp, horse riding, martial art, because each of them allowed me to find meaning in time and develop another next to myself.

Grateful in my childhood to have sometimes punished me without explaining the reason, because it allowed me to understand that the lack of love that I felt was the simple reflection of your lack, that each person has their own battle to win, and because it affirms the desire to be the loving person that I want to be now.

Grateful for making family reunions, however formal, a first priority, as it developed a sense of responsibility towards my family, coming from the desire that those who loved me would be well.

Grateful for always asking how my day was, but never how I was emotionally, because it taught me to want to share this information with you, and it has allowed me to bond more closely over the years.

Grateful to have always wanted the best for me, it doesn't matter if the intention could have turned into the best action, because in the end I was able to realize that no matter our differences, our core values ​​are the same.

Grateful because quite simply without you, without the ups and downs we went through together, without the impulses you gave me in life and the brakes you put on me, without the precious aids and those that went against where I am now, I wouldn't be the person I'm proud to be today.

And grateful because, even if we don't say it often, you love me, and that I love you, and that on both sides, our love is unconditional.

So, with the deepest of loves, I wish you the most wonderful Christmas, because I know that our future will not be limited to just certain dates in the year.

Your son,

Guillaume